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There is no end to the excuses people will use for not telling the truth in relationships, and many of them involve not hurting the other person’s feelings. However, I think that only a lack of emotional intelligence calls for honesty to be brutal. It is possible to be honest and kind. The guy who can’t think to say something like “I definitely don’t think those jeans are the look you’re going for. The ones you had on last week were amazing though!” is the guy who won’t find the honest, courageous and decent way to break up. Lying about the jeans, and manipulating the end of a relationship, is the lazy man’s way of not taking the time to develop better communication skills that are based on integrity, honesty, consideration and kindness.

I have broken up with plenty of guys, and they’re still my friends. Yes, I told them why I didn’t want to date them, and I told them EARLY ON…as soon as I knew it was a no go. I told them the truth: I didn’t feel what I should feel for someone I’m dating.