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The same way men find out…by taking a risk and asking.

>Trolls…pity dates…I’ve been on both sides of that equation, and I think the fear of wanting to avoid that experience might be even greater than the fear of a quick rejection.

I don’t think guys go on pity dates if you approach them. At the least they’re hoping for the chance of sex.

>I’ve also been out on dates with guys who were not capable of being romantically interested in me, but didn’t say no when I asked them out because they were too cowardly to do so. Figuring out that was the case was worse than never having gone out with them at all. If it’s a quick thumbs up/down, you can take it in stride, but after having spent the time to go out with them, you feel like a real chump.

Same thing guys have to go through. Like a woman that just wants an ego boost. For either sex, not everyone who says “yes” has the thoughts about you that you wish they had.

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Paula says:
February 9, 2011 at 5:28 pm
Jay — A date where the guy just wants sex and is not otherwise interested is still a pity date if the woman thinks she’s on a real date with someone who might be interested in her. (If she doesn’t think that and wants the same thing, then it can be a pleasant FWB/FB situation (although bag the date-like activities if you want to keep it clean). Or if he’s been up front with her, then it’s her problem for deluding herself.)